How to Find a Therapist Who is Right for You

Not all therapists are the same. We have different education, training, specialties, personal experiences, beliefs, and values that impact our work with clients so it is necessary to consider how these aspects will play a role in your treatment. Just like you would try to find a doctor that is the best fit for your medical needs, you have to (and it’s okay to) “shop around” and find a therapist that will be a good fit for you.

Here are some points to consider when you're looking for a therapist:

• How would the therapist help you with your concerns?

  As stated above, it’s important to understand how your therapist would be able to specifically help you with your unique concerns and that will mesh well with your personality.

• What is the therapist's qualifications/specialties/process/style/approach to therapy?

  • Qualifications: Can include education, licenses, and certifications.

  • Specialties: Just like you would see a cardiologist for a heart problem rather than your primary care doctor, you want to see a therapist who specializes in the problems you’re seeking help for.
    
    

  • Process: Logistics, order of therapy (i.e. intake session, treatment planning, etc.).

  • Style: Structured, client-led, etc.

  • Approach: The therapist’s theoretical orientation. Learn about my theoretical orientations here.

All of the above are more specific ways that the therapist’s work will impact your treatment.

• Do they have what you need and want in a therapist?

  Of course, perfection is impossible, but are they close enough? Are they clear of any red flags? I suggest making a list of the things you need and want from your therapist. Some examples may include a shared identity like race or religion, someone who has the training to treat a problem you’re coming in for like trauma. Remember, you’re also gauging if you’re a good fit personality-wise too. Also, ask yourself things like do they incorporate humor? Are they energetic and give you the push you need? Are they gentle and softer-spoken if that’s more of what you need? Keep this list with you while you vet your therapist to make sure they check off most of the boxes.

• Has your therapist “done their work?”

  While you don’t need to know the details of your therapist’s personal life, it can be helpful to know if they are or have been in therapy and put in time outside of session to better themselves. As therapists, doing our own work helps us be more understanding from a client's perspective and be the best version of ourselves to provide the best care possible for you.

• What does a session typically look like?

  This can be important to ask to find out if your therapist’s style will match your needs. Is it in person or virtual? Does your therapist let you take the lead in sessions? Do they have a more structured setup? Do they give homework? Do you talk about whatever is on your mind each session, or do you have a set topic?

• Trust your gut.

  You can tell a lot about how you feel with someone (aka vibes) even from short conversations. Do you feel safe and welcomed? Do you feel like you can be yourself? Are there any red flags such as misaligned beliefs, microaggressions, poor communication, misunderstandings, etc.? 

• You can ask your therapist if they think you're a good fit. 

  Your therapist will of course have some perspectives that you may not always see. It can be helpful to hear theirs to see if they believe that you would be a good fit and if they have the skills necessary to help you with what you need. This can and should be something that you and your therapist are continuously evaluating throughout your work together because you may not have the answer to this right away.

• Ask any and all questions you have!

  Remember this is a service you're paying for. Would you make any other big, non-refundable purchase without determining if it actually is right for you?

• You can always change your mind!

  You don’t have to stay with your therapist if you don’t like them. You’re allowed to “fire” or “break up” with your therapist. I recommend being open and honest about how you feel, what you need, and what works and what doesn’t work to see if there could be an improvement. If there isn’t improvement or you don’t feel comfortable enough with your therapist to have that conversation, that might be a sign that you need a new one!

All in all, I know waitlists can be long and there is a shortage of therapists, but choosing a therapist is a huge investment in yourself so it's important to take the time to find someone who is right for you. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), research shows that the therapeutic relationship is the most significant factor to change in therapy. We have to trust, feel comfortable with, and like our therapists for therapy to be effective and long-lasting.

Wishing you ease in finding a therapist that is right for you.

Stay golden!

Interested in working together?

Natasha Deen is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and Certified Brainspotting Therapist in the state of Maryland and Virginia. She is also the owner and operator of Golden Hour Counseling, LLC.